NaNoWriMo: Idiotic Plot Twists

nano7There are those doing NaNoWriMo strictly for the fun and challenge.  And there are those who are hoping for a workable manuscript out of it.  Both kinds of writers find “idiotic plot twists” showing up when their imaginations take over.  Here’s a sampling from a forum thread that left me rolling on the floor.

(MC = main character; MMC = male MC; FMC = female MC)
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My MC is living in a half occupied house (one of the occupants hasn’t been seen since chapter 3) with a twelve year old girl who obviously is a nutcase and a talking bird who just emailed the MC’s mum and is a major suspect in his abduction. And he doesn’t realise anything’s wrong despite waking up in a room full of mousetraps.
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My perfectly normal senior citizen was suddenly visited by the Chick-fil-A cows from space and taken to planet Eat Mor Chikin. She finally hijacks the space feeding trough and gets back to earth, bringing along a renegade cow that decides to eat all her daisies.
Words written on this inane scene – approx. 5,000 🙂

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My MMC is supposed to go to this coffeehouse and order a specific type of latte in order to notify his contact that he has arrived. Then out of the blue, as he’s walking into the place a person in black emerges from the shadows and follows him in. Where did he come from!? But the best is yet to come. My characters decided that there was an anime convention in the area, and the person in black? Well, he’s dressed as a ninja of course, as well as a bunch of other people in the place. And then, my MMC’s contact ends up being disguised as a ninja on top of it. Talk about random!! *sighs*
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My characters found a duck.
No, I’m not kidding.
In a post-apocolyptic world where they have only seen a few species of animals twenty years after the world died, they found a duck. Random duck, right before the beginning of the funeral of their most important leader in history. So what did they do with said duck?
They debated eating it.
But then eventually decided to follow it back to the duck nest to see if there were more; they almost missed the funeral cause they were too busy watching the fluffy little ducklings run around all awkward-like.
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The fate of Humankind rests on a band of teenagers impressing Elves with a concert, when Elves do not recognize music as an art form. I need to have them write a song in Fidelian- the Elves’s native language- that will make them simultaneously cry and see the error of their ways by the next chapter. SO not supposed to happen. And I don’t SPEAK Fidelian, so this should be entertaining.
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All of my characters keep wanting to have sex! They are humping like rabid bunnies! Why won’t they stop?
I plead with them, I offer them cool dialogue and all manner of magical action, but no, they ignore me and jump one another.
Next up, I’m writing a big hose…
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My MC just got rescued from slave traders by a bunch of talking moles. Why? I couldn’t tell you. Where the talking moles come from in a story where NO OTHER ANIMALS have spoken a word or been given a voice of any sort, beats me. Oh, and the moles are leading them through underground tunnels (which somehow are tall enough for two people to walk through) that somehow the slavers didn’t think to enter. I think the moles may have a whole underground civilization. My best guess is that I must have read this in some other book and my subconscious hated my plot, so decided to go with something it vaguelly remembered from childhood.
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So far, I’ve had my main characters throw rat poo at someone to escape and kill the same woman three times. Oddly enough though, it all works and fits.
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That’s nothing. I had a character once think that he was a dead guy that wants to haunt the living, so he reigns mass terror over the people, only to find out when he is jumping off the Empire State Building to scare them even further that he is actually alive.
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my sister managed to talk me into letting my character get kidnapped by a giant singing platypus… this in turn created a whole new mess of problems for where my plot was originally going…
and I missed the platypus after he left so much that I’ve created another spot for him where he gets to be the hero.. ^^;;
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Well, a former mermaid just invited herself to my MC’s ex-girlfriend’s wedding.
Also, completely a surprise to me, my MC and a couple of pretty big supporters got kidnapped by some royal guards who used to be talking bears.
I would say that this all makes sense in the context of my plot but, um, not really.
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Oh yes, you are not alone. I’ve decided to let my characters misbehave as there is no controlling them. They’ve stolen my plot and taken a turn of their own. I just hope they can figure out how to end the thing now. They will certainly not be getting any help from me!

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One Response to NaNoWriMo: Idiotic Plot Twists

  1. Peggy Hinshw says:

    sounds like writing about dreams….