Category Archives: Humor

Home Depot and Cialis?

Need a break from all your stress?  Then this is for you, compliments of the inestimable Kristen Lamb, who somehow connected Home Depot, Cialis and The Matrix in a way that had me rolling on the floor as I read and still giggling several days later.   Click over to Kristen’s blog to read the entire post if you’d like, and be sure to scroll to the bottom to see what I’m up to this week! “…Anyway, if you grew up like I did, knocked half unconscious with boomerang compliments, then you might have turned to books, shows, magazines or mentors/gurus to learn to think in “healthy” ways. Perhaps you even went on-line in search of some kind of “non-toxic” affirmation that you were not a total disappointment. And OMG! *angels sing* There it is! The Media LOVES US for WHO WE ARE We found it! The site for women … Continue reading

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Those ADD Moments

Is it a Senior Moment? Or just a tendency to ADD?  Here’s two minutes of my squirrely brain this morning: Head to the kitchen for breakfast. Chilly in the house, do I want a sweater? Look on couch to see if it’s there from last night. See sunshine outside, need to feed the birds. On the way to kitchen for birdseed, pass stairs. Oh yes, my sweater is down there from last night. But if I’m going downstairs, I really ought to take the laundry and start a load. Turn for bedroom for dirty clothes. Stop myself, “No, Jennifer, it can wait.” Turn back towards kitchen. Need Scriptures to read at breakfast—where’s my iPad? In kitchen, oh yes, bird food. Feed the birds, notice iPad on DR table on the way back in. Cold feet, think about socks. Back to bedroom for socks. See sweater on floor from last night, … Continue reading

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Chasing the Mailman

Friday:  Waiting for the mailman is a difficult thing for an author.  The postal tracking number showed that the print proof of Through the Shimmer of Time would arrive today, and the mail comes about noon.  I worked hard on guest blogs in the morning so I could enjoy the moment. 11:30 – No mail yet. 12:05 – Mail!  But no book package! 12:07 – Back inside, I check the USPS tracking number on the computer.  “On Delivery,” it says. Is it on a package-only mail truck?  Or did it go astray? We’ve had mail mis-delivered before. I sign up for text alerts and they send one immediately, telling me once again that it is “on delivery.” 12:32 – My phone chimes.  The text from USPS says that the package has been delivered. 12:32 – I check the mailbox again.  I check the front porch and beside the big garage … Continue reading

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There’s a Reason They Invented Spandex

I am not young and I am not slender. But there are times I’d like to be a little more fashionable than just wearing mom jeans and a T-shirt. So I have three pairs of leggings – two lightweight to wear with sandals or flats, and one heavier for winter boots. In the interests of modesty (and for the sake of other people’s eyes), I wear a tunic-type top with them. I don’t need my saggy butt out there for the world to see. A few weeks ago, though, I put on my Jeggings to do my exercises at home, and they were great: soft and stretchy and so comfortable I felt like they weren’t there. I even kept them on all day long. So during yesterday’s rain, when my body cried out for some activity besides sitting at my desk, I planned some gym time after running errands.  I … Continue reading

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Conquering Banana Cake

It’s like this. I had a banana protein muffin recipe to try.  One simple recipe.  And since we had three large bananas turning black in the fridge, I was quite happy to turn them into healthy, low-cal muffins.  But the muffin recipe only required half of one banana.  So what was I to do but make chocolate chip banana cake with the rest of them? Banana cake in the house – not a bad thing, you say?  You must not know me.  If I have one reasonably sized piece and stop, I feel totally deprived.  Fish-out-of-water deprived.  Writer-without-a-keyboard deprived!  So I go back for a second piece.  And a third.  And several hours later, it’s calling to me again.  My guys have a piece each, one takes a piece in his lunch the next day, and by the time they come home, the last half of the pan is gone! … Continue reading

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