First, type these words into a Google search and see what happens:

• Askew (or Tilt)
• Do a barrel roll
• Zerg Rush (and then wait a moment)

These work for most people, but for some reason my mother’s computers blocked the fun.  One computer was on Windows XP and the other was Windows 7, so I don’t think that was the problem.  I think her internet provider just blocked it somehow.  So if nothing happens, go to a friend’s house!

Zerg Rush is actually a game.  You can click on all those little O’s that drop down and try to get rid of them all before you hit bottom.  Good luck – you’re going to need it!

Next, go to Google’s homepage.  In the search box there, see what happens when you type these terms and click the “I’m Feeling Lucky” button:

• Google Gravity
• Let it snow
• Epic Google
• Weenie Google

Next, for a mirror site, go to elgoog.im.  You’ll see why when you do it.  And while you’re there, check out the Underwater and Terminal links.

Here’s one for all you wordsmiths.  You know how if you misspell “somthing”, Google asks if you really meant “something”?  Try typing:

• Anagram
• Recursion

(And if you don’t get it, look them up in the dictionary!)

That’s all for now – get back to work!  But if you know of any other Google tricks (or anything similar), please please please put them in the comments!

PS – My ROW80 goals have gone out the window this week (this is my Sunday check-in, a day early).  This is my only blog post, I’ve only done a few blog and Twitter comments, and music & eating right are out the window.  But by the end of today, I’ll have put in almost 29 hours on this book project – and that’s in spite of a day of packing and errands, and another day driving up to Portland and flying home!  Making good headway, and another week to go until the deadline for my first portion.

But those deals were all turning the actual blog into a book.  Anything we hear about agents trolling blogs for promising writers seems like rumors and dreams.

Until it happens to you.

I got this message in my email a week and a half ago:

Hi Jennifer:
      I am a literary agent scouting on behalf of a major publisher for someone to write a book on a young adult topic. I found your blogs and wonder if you might have interest in hearing more.

What’s that?  Someone found MY blog and wants to talk about a book?  Yeah, right, and they’ve got some Louisiana swampland to sell me, too.  It has to be spam.  Or at least a practical joke.

Then I read the next paragraph:  I have spent lots of time in Ireland and would love to chat about that too.

Okay, so she’s actually read my blog.  I click on her link and she looks legit.  I Google her, find a reference to her reviewing manuscripts as part of a writing contest prize.  Preditors & Editors says it’s a reputable agency.

Oh my gosh, could this actually be true?

Six days later (or 4 or 8 or some other number – my head’s still spinning), agent Marilyn Allen of Allen O’Shea Literary Agency and I have e-mailed, talked, and clicked with each other and on this particular project.  I not only have an agent presenting me to a particular editor, but that editor wants me!  ME!  Agent contract and editor’s e-mail agreement are in hand, actual book contract is on its way, and I’m still bouncing off the ceiling.

How did she find me, you ask?  I don’t know.  I asked, but I don’t know if her vague answer was because she had forgotten where she had been browsing when she came across my blog, or because she didn’t want to give her secrets away.  But she had read my blog, and read my Jen’s Writing Desk blog, too, because that’s the bio she had for me.  And, in Sally Field’s words, she liked me, she really liked me!  (Note to self: stop sounding like a five-year-old.  Deep breath.  Okay now.)

I can’t give out details for a while, but I can say that they were looking for a writer with children’s experience, a casual tone, and some humor.  Maybe my other credentials impressed them, maybe not.  And now I’m swamped with lots of research on a topic I love, and very tight deadlines!

So thank you, thank you, all my fellow WANA bloggers and the awesome Kristen Lamb, without whom my blog would be read only by my family, and not often at that!  Without your encouragement and the example of your fantastic blog voices, I’d still be . . . well, where I was two weeks ago!

Needless to say, my ROW80 goals are shifting a bit.  I’ve put in loads of hours on research for this project, which is now taking the place of working on my novel.  I’ve tweeted just a few, exercised once, and I’m posting a regular blog and my ROW80 check-in together right now.  I feel like I’m working hard (‘cuz I am!) and keeping a bit of balance in my life, but I’m cutting my time short with my mother so I can go home and work on this, and that has me a little off kilter.

Ah, well, can’t have everything.  And since she was the first to say I needed to go home and work harder . . . who am I to argue with my mother?  She’s more stubborn than I am!

What agent stories do you have to tell?  How did you get yours?  Do you have a splendiferous query letter? Or are you planning a restroom ambush at a writer’s conference?

If you’re an ROW80 writer, how are your goals coming?  (Click this Linky to read other ROW80 blogs.)

And since I love checklists and marking down my little Xs when I accomplish things (not to mention the fact that I can never remember how much tweeting/commenting I’ve done!), I started an Excel spreadsheet.   For good or bad, I can now see my ups and downs at a glance.

For the last week, including the tail end of my reporting period from Wednesday, I’ve done fantabulous with my writing time.  I don’t get much credit for that, though – research for the new project has me perking right along.

I’ve posted two regular blogs here and this is my second ROW80 check-in this week – hurray!  But better is that I actually posted on my Jen’s Writing Desk site, about “practice writing” and some prompts.  Double hurray!  I’ve only re-tweeted eight times, which is a lot less than normal, but I’ve left comments on ten blogs, which is more than I usually do.  Either way, I’m way over my goal of 10 combined.

Let’s see . . . that leaves the mind/body/spirit stuff.  Exercise is good, at least the minimal amount that I can do, but cutting back sugar and white stuff is down the tubes.  And I probably won’t succeed at that until I get back home.  I was successfully consistent with my daily Scripture study again, but other feed-the-soul stuff like music and quilting didn’t happen at all, thanks once again to THE PROJECT.

So what is this project?  Very exciting, very career-progressing, but, gee, I guess you’ll just have to wait until tomorrow or Tuesday!  *evil grin*  See you then.

In the meantime, check out these other ROW80 posts (ooh – I figured it out!):

I plan practical illusions for myself.  I set my watch five minutes ahead, so I have a better chance of being someplace on time.  I deduct $100 from my checking account balance so when I’m getting down there, I really have a bit of a cushion.  But why does this work?  Is my mind really that gullible?  (Don’t answer that, kids!)

Sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn’t, just like with optical illusions.  The picture below could be a vase or two profiles.  We see one, then are told to look for the other.  Once we have found both, the next time we look, we’re not fooled any more.

Setting my watch ahead didn’t work too well when I did it years ago.  I was always rushing, always late.  Tapping my foot at the first stoplight, I would remind myself, “Hey, it’s actually only ten ‘til,” and I could breathe again.  Until I would start my rush at home, remember that I had an extra five minutes, and – you guessed it – fill that time until I was late anyway.

As the years have passed, I’ve learned not to constantly squeeze in one more thing before I leave.  No last “quick” phone call.  No loading the dishwasher and wiping the counter.  No just-one-more-game-of-solitaire.  *sniff*  So when I’m late, I’ve usually had at least a few days to forget that my watch is set fast, and that mind trick works again.

The checkbook trick, on the other hand, works almost all the time.  Maybe because *gasp!* I don’t check it nearly enough!  If I’ve gone too long without catching it up, I see a balance of $15.34 (or -15.34), panic for a moment, and then remember.

Does that mean I’m feeble-minded?  (Don’t answer that, either!)

I still love the camel photo, but I don’t look at it regularly.  So when I do, I first see large camels, and then remind myself that those are the shadows, not the camels.

What optical illusions do you love?  What tricks do you play on yourself? Any that might be of use to this feeble mind?

I haven’t figured out how to do Fabio Bueno’s green/yellow/red progress reports, so I’ll just put them in italics.

Writing:

• Write 5 days a week, either 1,000 words a day OR at least one hour on plotting/editing.  Not good – only three writing sessions the whole week!  BAD Jennifer!

Social Networking:

• Blog twice a week, plus ROW80 check-ins.  So-So – two blogs, but only one check-in.
• One blog a week on Jen’s Writing Desk. Accomplished!
• Tweet or comment on at least 10 other blogs per week.  Accomplished!

Health:  

• Follow re-hab instructions after foot surgery. Easy – build up walking around.  Accomplished!
• Strength training (what I’m allowed) three times a week.  Bad – only once.
• Gentle walks, as approved, at least three times a week.  Not allowed yet.
• Begin cutting sugar from diet.   Hmm…ate properly maybe 4 of 8 days.  Unless I count all the times I wanted chocolate or donuts and didn’t have them, in which case I can count a lot more!

Mind/Spirit:

• Study Scriptures daily.  Success, and proud of it!
• Practice flute or piano twice each week.  Once.
• Sew quilt block each month.  Not yet.

Well, actually, hmm . . . after listing my results, maybe I don’t feel like a failure after all.  *grin*  I did get more done than I would have without the goals, so I’ll give myself a C rather than an F this week.  And here’s to improvement for the next check-in.  And to figuring out how to put the blog-hop link here, and actually doing it.

First you open the washer, only to find a wet load still in there.  Is it old enough to be musty and needing a vinegar rinse?  No, I’m lucky this time – Mom had put it in the night before.  But I reach in to transfer it to the dryer, and find out I’m not so lucky after all.

I pulled a towel out with effort.  The jeans wouldn’t come at all.  Mom had put in a mixed load, and when I say mixed, I mean every type and state of clothing and fabric imaginable.

The sweater arms and one leg of the jeans were tied like an inept boy scout’s knots.  A pair of nylons wound its way in and out of everything, strings from the dog’s fleece throw tangled with bra straps and eight-inch lengths of ribbon-and-velcro fasteners for my dad’s catheter tube.  To top it off, the apron he wears when he eats had not only tied its strings into every piece of fabric in there, tighter than those of a neurotic mother, but the loop to go around his neck had somehow gotten over the agitator and trapped underneath.

It was worse than a Gordian knot, and I couldn’t even pull it out of the machine because of the apron strings.  I spent fifteen l-o-n-g minutes bent over, working loose first one thing (the dog throw) and then another (a sweater with, somehow, only one arm entangled), and then cussing up a storm gently working until the nylons came free, the bra worked into a recognizable shape, and the apron strings finally permitted themselves to be freed.

The jeans leg unwound from another sweater, the shirt sleeves disentangled from each other, and the rest came easy.

Fine.  Move on.  Nylons and bra over the towel rack, the rest in the dryer, and I’m done.  Until the dryer *twitch* eats its inevitable sock.

I wrote the above in January, but laundry never changes, does it?  What tangles your sanity, laundry or otherwise?

I won’t go into the upheaval in life right now – that’s for another post – but I didn’t get started with ROW80 last week as planned.  My goals were mostly written, though, so here they are.  I plan to work seriously toward them, but I’ll cut myself some slack when things get rough again.

Writing:  to polish and send out middle grade novel, and finish rough draft of adult novel.

• Write 5 days a week, sessions to include:
• Write 1,000 words a day, OR
• Work at least one hour on plotting/editing.

Social Networking:  to connect with other writers, be inspired, build readership.

• Blog twice a week, plus ROW80 check-ins.
• Get Jen’s Writing Desk going again with at least one blog a week.
• Tweet or comment on at least 10 other blogs per week.

Health:  to become physically fit again.

• Follow re-hab instructions after foot surgery.
• Strength training (what I’m allowed) three times a week.
• Gentle walks, as approved, at least three times a week.
• Begin cutting sugar from diet.  (Sorry, can’t really quantify that now.)

Mind/Spirit:  to feed the other part of me.

• Study Scriptures daily.
• Practice flute or piano twice each week.
• Sew quilt block each month.

That’s plenty for now, and hopefully not too much – I made them baby steps on purpose! *grin*  I’ll keep you posted (hmm, does that mean I need to make a check-off chart now?), and you can cheer me on!

For those who don’t know, ROW80 is shorthand for A Round of Words in 80 Days, a writerly challenge that takes into account the fact that you actually have a life.  (Read all the details here.)  Don’t get me wrong – I love NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) and the group craziness that happens when we’re all trying to write an entire novel in November.  But I missed it the last two years because, well, life was happening.  And I missed the camaraderie that went with it.

Then I took Kristen Lamb’s online class, “We Are Not Alone,” for writers last October, and my blogging group turned out to have a bunch of people who do ROW80.  I’ve loved seeing what their goals are, reading their updates, and watching as they met success. Or as they fell down, picked themselves up, dusted off, and got going again.

I’ve puttered on with my writing through the last year, writing/editing two works-in-progress and posting semi-regularly to my blog.  And I really want to get the middle grade novel sent out and finish drafting my women’s novel, in addition to all the stuff mentioned earlier.  So I figure ROW80 will help me get the stories finished without putting unreasonable pressure on me with everything else going on.  After all, I get to set the goals!

And it doesn’t have to be just writing – many people are including social networking, exercise, healthy eating, or time for reading, as well as their writing goals.  Hmm, maybe I should include a housework goal!

So there you have it, one more thing Jennifer’s committing to.  I’m pondering, writing, and re-writing my goals for the next few days, and I’ll post them next week.  If this were NaNo, I’d say to sit back and watch the insanity.  But for ROW80, I’ll say, “I am writer, hear me roar!”

First view of Blarney Castle

In one of my first All Things Irish posts, I asked what you might like to read about.  One of the requests was for any and all castles.  So here’s the first – the quintessential Irish (at least to Americans) Blarney Castle, in my own County Cork.

We lived only about 20 miles from the village of Blarney, though the drive took about 40 minutes.  A very pretty drive, but if you go, check GoogleMaps for basic directions first.  You’re on main roads all the way, so if your GPS says to take a side road (which ours did the first time), DO NOT LISTEN TO HER!  We left the main road, wound for miles on a tiny back lane, and then came out onto the same main road!

The other fun thing about getting there, from Kinsale at least, is that one of the roads is painted with messages for tourists.  As you drive on one particular stretch, it says Slow, then Reduce Speed, then Slow, and then SLOWER!

Anyway . . .

Blarney Castle needs several posts.  Everyone thinks of the castle itself and the Blarney Stone, but the grounds are extensive and gorgeous, and I’ll save them for later.

Blarney Castle was built by the MacCarthys, specifically Dermot MacCarthy, King of Munster (the southern-most of the four Irish provinces) in the mid-1400s.  Actually, it began in 1456, but you can’t build a fortress and its accompanying walled village in a year.  The only thing left is the keep, but there are ruins of other towers and you can see the remnants of the castle walls from the top of the keep.

Entrance to the Blarney Castle itself. The gift kiosk is just inside before you enter the castle proper.

Looking down from the battlements to the wall remnant. The path on the left leads to the grounds, and the one below the bedrock is the approach to the castle.

The downstairs was for the guards and the cattle.  The floor above it is gone, so visitors enter into a cavernous room.

Youngest Son at the top.

The stairs from the great hall and family room up are quite steep and narrow for defense – they allowed only one attacker at a time, with the defenders holding the high ground.  There’s a huge knotted rope to help pull yourself up.  And you’ll need it!

I need to admit to being a bit forgetful here – some castles have Up staircases and Down staircases, and some you have to wait for the Down traffic to ease before you can go Up.  I don’t remember which it is at Blarney, so follow the directions!

Inside the castle, you’ll see the earl’s bedroom with its oriel window, the young ladies’ room, the garderobe (and its windows to empty chamber pots straight down the castle wall – yeech!), the kitchens and their massive fireplaces to cook a side of beef in.  Arrow slits give you glimpses of the outside, and there’s a gorgeous view from the top.  I loved seeing the corbels and recesses in the stone where the supports for the floors were, and imagining the banqueting hall on the top floor with tapestries, a roaring fire, and feasting and dancing.  I liked closing my eyes and imagining what the girls would be doing, how people would pass in the narrow halls, how the cooks would prepare food three stories up, how guards could see raiders coming from so far off.

Looking down where the banqueting hall and lower floors used to be.

The kitchen, almost at battlement height. You can't see the huge fireplace. How did they get pigs and sides of beef clear up here?

To add to the atmosphere for imaginative visitors, there are tunnels through the bedrock (closed to the public), a dungeon, and yes, a murder hole.

The murder hole - can I pour boiling oil on my friend?

The Blarney Stone is at the top of the keep.  Sort of.  Actually, it’s on the outside wall of another tower, about a foot and a half away from the keep.  Stories of dangling upside down in mid-air to kiss it don’t give the right impression.  You lay on your back and scoot out, with steel bars to hold on to.  And there are several more bars beneath you closing the gap of open air.  Plus the castle staff who will help you into position and hold on to you if you feel insecure.  So don’t be put off – it’s just a weird position to be in.  (More to the point might be my daughter’s reaction: who wants to kiss a stone that a million other people have slobbered on?)

Youngest Son kissing the Blarney Stone. (I took the picture and it came out as well as theirs. The one he took of me wasn't at as good of an angle.)

So why do you kiss the Blarney Stone, anyway?  Hubby O’Mine said I didn’t need to kiss it – I’ve already got more of the gift of gab than I need!  But kissing the stone isn’t actually for the “gift of gab.”  It’s for the gift of eloquence and flattery, with just a touch of exaggeration.  And that’s what a storyteller needs, right?

Mostly, though, visitors kiss the stone for tradition, and just to be able to say they did.  Which was a good enough reason for me.

More pictures, followed by tips for a visit:

The line on the battlements, waiting to kiss the Blarney Stone.

See where the floors would have fit in?

View out to Blarney Village.

One last picture.

When you go:

• The grounds are lovely, and mostly handicapped-accessible, but the castle is not.  The floors are uneven, doorways and halls are narrow, and remember those stairs!
• It’s cash only at the ticket counter, so come prepared.  (At least that’s what I remember.)  As of this writing, adult admission is €12.
• The castle is cold.  Very nice if it’s a hot day in Ireland, but those are rare, so remember to have a sweater or jacket.  And well-cushioned shoes if you have leg or back problems – standing on stone for long periods is not comfortable.
• If there’s a long line at the top to kiss the Blarney Stone, don’t worry – it moves quickly.
• They’ll take a souvenir picture of you kissing the Blarney Stone, which you can buy at the gift kiosk at the castle entrance.  You can take your own pictures (well, you take pictures of your friend and vice versa, of course), but you have to stand where they say and you don’t get a second chance.
• It’s a self-guided walk through, and there are informative signs along the way, but the little booklet at the ticket gate is worth the 3 or so euros.  At least it was for me.